By Neil Durham

WORTH A LOOK?: *****

WHEN?: Tuesday 13 June, runs through 11 August 2023 RUNTIME: 180 minutes (including a 20-minute interval) BREAKING: This production transfers to the Prince Edward Theatre 9 October through 13 January 2024 Tickets

Can it really be true that England’s football team are the ‘premature ejaculators’ of penalty taking and the quick speed with which they take them corresponds directly to their lack of success?

• Read on for reasons including why this is the best new play of the year so far and so much more than about football

James Graham’s (Best Of Enemies, Noel Coward Theatre) new play examines Gareth Southgate’s reign as England’s football manager, years of hurt and the world’s worst track record for taking penalties.

Graham has been on something of a winning streak himself lately with the aforementioned Enemies taking its West End bow in 2022, his musical Tammy Faye co-written with Elton John enjoying both Olivier and monsta success and the BAFTA-nominated Sherwood on TV.

When we saw the three-hour runtime of his new play, we couldn’t help but wonder whether this was his mis-step but it is perfectly executed.

You join us on a circular stage representing Wembley Stadium with three revolves and a halo-like screen able to show both graphics and film footage as the old Southgate watches his younger self miss the penalty that sees England exit Euro 96.

Graham reminds us how funny he can be as time moves on to the departure of Southgate’s predecessor, Sam Allardyce, after 1 game and a media sting involving a ‘pint of wine’ that leaves Southgate approached, rather unconvincingly, to be caretaker manager.

Southgate ponders what it is about the English psyche that sees its people’s happiness depend so highly on its football team and its players so unable to win a match on penalties.

He hires the plain-speaking psychologist Pippa Grange, a hugely insightful and comic turn by Gina McKee, who wants to understand why England’s players take their penalties so many times more quickly than their far more successful German counterparts.

Southgate attempts to alleviate the pressure from his team by encouraging them to think of themselves as storytellers of a play with 3 acts and that no-one expects them to win in Act 1 in the Russia 2018 World Cup.

We get to know the team and especially memorable are the uncharismatic captain Harry Kane, Will Close’s impersonation is spot on but there’s also real depth there, passionate Marcus Rashford, Darragh Hand once again so good after For Black Boys, Apollo Theatre, and Harry Maguire who is embodied by Adam Hugill.

England win a game on penalties during the Russia tournament and emboldened, Southgate pushes on losing Grange along the way and then 25 years after Southgate’s miss, England faces its biggest penalties test in a Euro 20 final against Italy.

The football matches are illustrated with an almost dance-like choreography, we have occasional spot-on turns from Gunnar Cauthery as characters including Gary Lineker and Boris Johnson and a soundtrack including some of the most memorable England football anthems.

What Graham does so well is show how the fate of the national football team is inextricably linked to the mood of the nation and perhaps by controlling how we react to loss, we can combat the fear of penalty taking.

Joseph Fiennes last performed on stage in London 2008 and these days is better known for TV roles in big American shows like The Handmaid’s Tale but is here so unrecognisable as himself and gives us a memorable Southgate teaching his players about the value of teamwork, having each other’s backs and ultimately showing kindness.

We won’t give away the ending but are unashamed to say we were in floods of tears – there’s taking the knee and rainbow armbands along the way – although there is so much joy, hope and happiness mixed in there also.

It’s directed by Rupert Goold (Spring Awakening, Almeida) who has already brought some of Graham’s best work to vivid life previously and we think Dear England is probably the best new play of the year so far.

Don’t just dismiss it as a play about football, once memorably described as more important than a matter of life and death, because it is so much more than that.

• Main picture by Marc Brenner via Facebook courtesy National Theatre Tickets
• Have you seen a show at the National Theatre or written by James Graham? Let us know what you thought in the comments below
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